She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
3 2 1 whiskey
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
