I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
