You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
