actually, I'm a sock model
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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