it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
