I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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