Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
