I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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