Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
