i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
