i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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