you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
