We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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