Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
