sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
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