My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize
