Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
