I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
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