i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Randomize
