Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
