I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
