Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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