im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
