So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
