i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
