Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
