It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
