ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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