Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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