so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize