real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
