Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
