All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize