new low.... made out with someone while peeing
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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