so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
They have beer where we have blood.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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