you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
