Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
