GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize