I'm gonna have a badass scar
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
