If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize