life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
