Im at strip club and am horny
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
