i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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