when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
