My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
