I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
My vagina just recognized that song.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
