Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Can you bring me the toilet please
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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