well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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