Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Randomize
