**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
