are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
