today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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