she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
