my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
