i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I smell stomach acid.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I see more hoeing in ur future
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
