as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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