if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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