i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize
