the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
