girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
