Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
