I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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