im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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