she was so not down for the gang bang
Where is the hickey?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
